Pinup-Dog-2522Ashamed to be seen by God but not the serpent, Adam and Eve ate of the land in none other than their birthday suits.  Now, I find myself in the comfort of my own home doing the very same – eating apples, committing my own original sins, and watching men fall.  Although in the spirit of the 21st century, Baby Frank has replaced the serpent, and God has reserved his judgments for those more sinful.

Eons past the Eden Incident of 4000 B.C., and I still follow in the bare footsteps of our very first sinners.  Slipping into something more comfortable has become routine, the blinds might as well be glued shut with how often they’re opened, and my birthday suit hangs in a garment bag on the off chance I decide to move to a nudist camp.  Occasionally I even race myself to see who can get undressed the fastest, and of course, I always win.  However in the midst of my disrobing victory, reality hits that the lord may be MIA, but Baby Frank is very much there.  I switch on and off between shielding my breasts behind my arms and letting them breathe in the open air.  Truth be told, Frank cares more about his scrotum and where his balls used to be than my naked body.  Insert witty pun regarding men and dogs.

His close attention to his puppy parts allowed me to see that my fear of being caught knee deep in nudity was an overreaction.  With the exception of Halloween, Frank is permanently naked, and most likely, licking his own genitals with pride or sleeping the day away.  Who is he to judge my decision to bare it in the buff?  Canines ravage their mates in public, doggy style no less.  I should be able to do the same, perhaps not in public, but in front of my own dog.  Odds are Frank sees my bareness as a removal of my fur coat.  But to the Adams of my Eve, my nakedness is not mistaken nor snubbed for a Milk-Bone.  Insert witty pun regarding boners.

The differences between the hominid and canine perceptions of nudity are arguably based in evolutionary and anatomical variances.  But what about the dissimilarities among humans?  How much power can we assign to cultural influences or the sway of societal standards?  The lessons we learn as children, while trivial in the moment, ultimately determine our mentalities and moral codes as adults.  If society as a whole refrained from shaming the naked body and promoting ineffective abstinence-only programs, then possibly our notions about the human form would be more healthy.  Certainly there are those who can self-assuredly roam the Earth as naked as they first originated, those who reject the need to conceal their curves behind their arms, and perhaps most importantly, an individual who is able to indifferently look at skin like Baby Frank.  There are, however, more people who find difficulty in being unclothed in front of an unfamiliar (or even familiar) partner.

At times, I find myself to be an inhabitant of both bodies, a middle child, an experiment gone wrong for Dr. Jekyll.  Nevertheless, I take my role as the daughter of Eve quite seriously, and for that reason alone, my blinds will remained closed for the time being.  Still, I cannot fully explain why a creature unable to speak my name can see my naked body while you, a fellow human, shall remain blind.

Yours truly,
Scarlett Stone

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